Friday, August 28, 2009

Around the World

Circumnavigate. It means to go around the globe. I don't mean one of those sweet globe bar things that really rich people can afford to buy from The Sharper Image. I mean the whole thing. You know... Where you and (sometimes) I live. Yeah. Earth.

Earlier this week, 17 year old Mike Perham of England finished his circumnavigation of the globe. When I was that age, I was worrying about not crashing my 1989 Ford Escort (named "The Mach 5"). For those of you who don't know, I eventually did but not before I had some amazing senior pictures taken with it. I was at the photography studio and saw a picture of this guy dressed as a fireman standing next to his red pick up truck... There were photo-enhanced flames and everything! After deciding that this dude looked like the baddest mofo on the planet, I decided that I, too, wanted to inspire the throngs of middle classians with a sweet picture of me... and my car. And so shot after shot (much to the photographers amusement) were taken of me in amazing poses in, on, and around my car. I was like Tawny Kitaen in a Whitesnake video but with slightly more clothes.

But back to my point. This is truly a remarkable feat. 30,000 miles. Alone. Sure, he had a support crew relatively nearby him the whole time but this wasn't like Bear Grylls faking his way through adventures. Did anyone see the episode with Will Ferrell? I can't imagine the star of Semi-Pro (the best film about Flint EVER) surviving any extended period of time in the mountains. Maybe if it were Winter Park, Colorado and there mugs of cocoa a-plenty. But that would be about the only way. Otherwise, this dude ain't buyin' it. And I've been known to buy some dumb shit in my day. The 2 disc collectors edition DVD set of Snakes on a Plane for instance. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy the movie. I do.
How impressive is Mike's accomplishment? Well, let me try to put things in perspective. 500 years ago, Juan Sebastián Elcano (not Ferdinand Magellan) completed the first circumnavigation of the globe by sailing with a crew of sea worthy men who had spent their entire lives training for said purpose. 251 of the 270 men who started on the voyage died during it. That's not very good. Unless you're a pirate and are into looting, pludering, and killing... Then it would be a great success!

I think I'd like to try my hand at something like this. All I need is $14 million and a dream, right?

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