Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Going Rogue

Sarah Palin has written a book. It's called Going Rogue: An American Life. I have several problems with this. Let me explain...

The first problem is that I'm not really sure that Sarah Palin is American. A year and a half ago, the political muckrakers of the Republican party did their damndest to assert that Barack Obama wasn't born in America and I'd like to do the same here. Why? 'Cause I'm not even sure Alaska is part of the United States. It's really like Canada's hand. Don't get me wrong, it's a place full of wonder and snow and Deadliest Catch is awesome and... uhhh... Basically that would be about it. That and oil that can't be touched but that's another thing altogether.

Secondly, the more that I think about things, the less rogue I think this chick can go. She's wound so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up her ass in two weeks you'd have a diamond (thank you, Ferris Bueller). That's the opposite of rogue.

Thirdly, anyone who knows anything knows that Rogue is really Jean Grey. Unless this is X-Men Origins 2: Rogue aka Thank God it's not about Cyclops 'cause the made him into a whiny bitch in the movies. Catchy title, dontcha think?


Sarah's not fooling anyone.

Except for most of America.

3 comments:

  1. *ahem* Rogue is not Jean Grey, she just accidentally stole all of Jean Grey's powers. Phoenix is Jean Grey. Duh.

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  2. Rogue stole her powers... therefore, in effect, by proxy, becoming the new Jean Grey.

    i'm technically correct. the best kind of correct.

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  3. Please don't patronize me. The X-men consumed my entire 4th and 5th grade existence and Rogue was my favorite X-(wo)men. If Rogue was Jean Grey, Cyclops woulda been all over that shizz and then Gambit would've had to cut his lazer-beam head with one of those crazy light-up playing cards of his and THEN where would we be, hMMmMM?!

    Ha. I defeated you. With logic. Booyah.

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pull the mctrigger