Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Funny People

Judd Apatow: writer/director/producer/guythatmarriedthatchickwithawesomeboobsinBigDaddy is set to release a new movie this weekend. Dude is calling it Funny People. You gotta hand it to Judd. He knows a good story when he comes across one. One needs to look no further than his 1995 cinematic tour-de-force Heavy Weights. What?! You've never seen it? It's a movie about these kids who go to (as one character named Jerry - on the left in the picture - puts it) "fat camp." There are go karts involved as the piece-de-resistance of the film. It is most epic. The insinuation of bondage in this picture is in no way indicative of a theme of the film itself. I don't think that Disney would have released it if it were.

My point is, though, that Judd started his insatiable love with fat guys early. Stay with me on this one. I'm not saying he is in love with fat guys. That would just be weird. And libelous.

Mr. Apatow has somehow managed to release the same story over and over and over and over again. Ready? Ok! [That was for the cheerleaders reading this. By the way, if you're a cheerleader, get at me. College age only, though.] Fat/ugly dude hooks up with hot chick. They fall in love based on compatibility of the heart and mind rather than pure physical attraction. How he gets away with it is beyond me. He's like Steven Speilberg and his daddy issues. Hell, he even looks like Senor Speilberg-o. Kinda eerie, in'it?

I need to start following their playbook. These guys have got it down to a science. Start writing, make a movie or nine, marry a hot blonde. Conversion to Judaism pending. Probably not on that last thing, though. I like bacon too much. It's delicious.

On to my point... Or, rather, back to it... Funny People.

From what I've gathered, it's about a comedian who is dealing with a terminal illness and is looking to pass his tricks of the trade onto an up-and-coming comic. I'm sure that one or both of them is in love with a hottie. It's called a formula.

As I was sifting through the news this morning, I came across this piece of "news" wherein I can ask Adam Sandler a question. My question to him would be simple. Straight. To the point. Honest. "How?"

Yup. "How?"

Looking at the guy with the sweet as hell goatee, you're probably thinking "Yo! Fuckin' Yankees, man! Jeeee-ter!" How did he do it? He's made an entire career out of "gibbidy-glees" and "whoopidy-doos" and well, you get the idea. That's not comedy. That's mental retardation. Don't get me wrong, I still laugh my ass off every time Happy Gilmore comes on. I'm not above it. But there he is... being all funny and decidedly average looking and hanging out with his hot wife. Here I am, being all funny and decidedly average looking and hanging out with, well, myself on a Tuesday morning.

What I need is some marketing. Some quality marketing. Maybe a few million, too, but we'll worry about that later. Some marketing and interactive strategery the likes that the folks at center{source} could provide for me. Some marketing that eHarmony can't. I need a The Bachelor-type situation. You know... Where the women instinctively flock to me... Like the salmon to Capistrano. I spelled that right on the first try, by the way.

Lloyd Christmas... 'Nother example of funny (albeit slightly slow) dude workin' it out.

Maybe women do like a sense of humor. Maybe they like funny mixed with Jewish heritage. If so... L'chaim!

Turned on yet? I thought so.


  1. after reading that... all i can seem to muster up is "do you really have a subsription to Mr.Skin.com?"

  2. it was under a google image search.

    also, i stick with what i know.

  3. Apatow directed Heavy Weights? Wow. Ben Stiller's best performance to date.


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