"Do you hate my boyfriend?"

"Do you hate my boyfriend?"

I was sitting at my desk at Job #1 [attn: Josiah's sister - This is where I would have used strike thru on the name of Job #1 and then followed it up with some clever text but I'm not sure at how good the internets and the computerers are at finding the name of the company and I've already got into a spot of trouble for it. Know, however, I was thinking of you when I wrote that. You've now achieved infamy and immortality via a Stephen P. Bohn blog shout-out. May your days be golden.] yesterday when I got an IM from a friend of mine. Why, yes, I do stay signed into G-chat all day long. Why, yes, I do have my AIM linked to it. Why, yes, I would like a glass of pink lemonade.

"Do you hate my boyfriend?"

It was a strange thing to start a conversation with, right? Not as strange as, say, going up to a stripper and saying "Hey, baby... Wanna go make out in my limo?" but I guess that works for some dudes. Especially if you look like either a magician or a gender ambiguous villian from a James Bond movie. What's even more strange is how this dude to the left (his name is Erik by the way) used to play Dungeons and Dragons as a kid and considered himself a "late bloomer". If there is any sort of parallel between him and me, I'm gonna take my 10 point Magic Quarterstaff of Destiny and slay me a whole bunch of 'em. Yup. The adianoeta there? A quarterstaff is made of wood and well... you get the idea. It was a sex joke. There. Also, I feel pretty proud of myself for making a sex joke right next to the word "adianoeta".

Anyway... back to real life. 'Cause that's where I try to live occasionally. Her question threw me off: "Do you hate my boyfriend?" I told her I didn't. It's pretty difficult for me hate somebody if I don't know them although, in all honesty, that really hasn't stopped me before. I hate Peyton Manning and I've never met him. Really, though, what's not to hate about him? He gets up to the line of scrimmage, yells for a bit, runs a play, loses a game (or, more importantly in the annals of football, the Heisman Trophy to Charles Woodson), and then cries about it. How can you respect a man who cries when he loses a game? I cried when my grandparents died and when I get hit in the nuts but that's about it. And only every time maybe at the end of The Return of the King. But that's it. Not because I lost a game.

After re-confirming with my friend that I didn't hate her boyfriend, she proceeded to tell me that he thinks that I give him the evil eye on the occassions that I've met him. This may or may not be true but it certainly isn't intentional. I told her that on both the occasions that I have met him, I thought I had been civil enough, even if I didn't care enough to remember his name.

Turns out this dude is named Leeroy.

Naturally, this caused me to both yell out and type the "Leeroy Jenkins" battle-cry:

Yes, said battle cry brought some strange looks from the majority of my co-workers at Job #1. I'm one of those 'square pegs' here.

What? I like the internet and I alluded to the fact that I really like thought D&D was okay. Yeah, I know that's a World of Warcraft clip.

Good heavens... I just turned off my entire readership with my knowledge of RPGs. Oh, well... It's not like I have an image to worry about because women aren't going out with me very often either way. If I'm gonna be single, I might as well be single and happy as opposed to single and wearing a t-shirt / vest combination like most of my East Nashville counterparts.

So, friend who may or may not read this blog: I don't hate your boyfriend. But give it time because I very well could in the future. Who knows what tomorrow holds!?

Somali family

One of the continuing missions of HumanKind is to give back in every way we can. Simple, sure, but good. My roommate / VP of HumanKind / all-around good gal Christina Rado wrote this in her blog this morning:




So, my Somali family has been off school for a week. 6 school-age kids usually receive free breakfast and lunch at school. This means over their two week holiday break, they have to make their grocery budget stretch to meet the needs of 120 meals the kids are missing out on by not being in school. I'm going to visit them tomorrow (Wednesday). If you have time today and want to bring by a snack like a bag of apples or carrots, a box of cereal, or some bread and peanut butter, I'll be at Humankind (604 Gallatin Ave #206) from 11:30 - 5:30. I realize it's last minute, but thought I'd throw it out there!

Christina and her husband Ryan work with and visit this family on a regular basis. They help teach the parents some basic skills (like how to answer the telephone) and have provided the family with a TV and DVD player to help keep the kids entertained... And, well, you get the idea. I've never met the family. I keep terribly busy (work does that to you) and I know I don't give back like I know I should. I also know that parts of the HumanKind humankind cause aren't as close to my heart as perhaps I would like them to be. I'm pushy and can be standoffish from time to time and I don't step out of my comfort zone enough... Despite my generally gregarious nature. But I figure that this is the least that I can do to try to help out.

If anyone is interested in helping out with one of the requested things (a box of cereal, peanut butter, granola bars... you get the idea), shoot me an email at stephenpbohn at gmail dot com or go on up to the HK store at the above address and drop some stuff of this afternoon.

I'm trying to do some good in the world today. Trying.

Smash Register

Have you ever had your car or your home broken into? It's one of the most helpless feelings in the world. Someone broke into my car about 10 years ago but didn't steal anything. Apparently, they just thought it was fun to smash one of the back windows. It could have been worse had I been 400 miles from home with a couple of friends and my car was our only way back... Oh, wait. We were and it was.

But on to the story. I volunteer at HumanKind in East Nashville. I ran the half marathon back in April and managed to raise some funds for them. I've helped to sort clothes. I've washed the windows. I do the bookkeeping. I'm on the board of directors now. I'd say I have quite the vested interest in the place. If you haven't heard me talk about it before or if you don't feel like clicking over to the HK website via the link above, the best way to describe HumanKind is that the profits from the merchandise sold at the store go toward purchasing the required “standard school attire” for refugee kids entering the Metro Nashville school system. I don't really know why cause is important to me: I didn't go to public school after first grade; I didn't have to buy a uniform for school [at Detroit Catholic Central, it was khaki pants and Eddie Bauer for all -- I didn't know any better]; my parents always had money for the clothes I did wear... Superficially, none of that really makes sense as to why I'd want to help the place out. It certainly isn't glamorous to say that you volunteer at a non-profit and, sure, some women might think that it's 'sensitive', and, sure, it might look nice on a resume'.... But none of those are the reasons that I do it. I'm a jackass and I know it. I'm just trying to find a way to give back. And really... what's a few hours of volunteering a month in the grand scheme of things? It's a small price to pay for what I get in return even if I don't really know what that is just yet... and even if I never meet any of the kids that benefit from clothes their parents might not otherwise be able to afford.

Sometime late Saturday night / early Sunday morning, someone broke into HK. They destroyed the glass front door and, from what I've been told, went straight for the register. They smashed it open in an attempt to (obviously) get money. I don't know what these people who broke in were thinking but has any business ever just left money sitting in the register overnight? I can't think of any.

Suffice to say, my first reaction was "What an asshole! Who the hell breaks into a non-profit thrift store to steal money?!" It was natural. Being Irish, I think I have a tendency to over-react but I think this time I was spot on. Luckily, the only things that were damaged were the front door (which the landlord is replacing) and the cash register. Being a non-profit, HK relies entirely on donations and hard work. An expense like this is, fortunately, something we were financially prepared for but, of course, never saw coming. A cash register isn't going to make or break us.

Ryan and Christina Rado, the owners and founders of HK, were asked by Channel 4 here in Nashville to be interviewed about the break-ins and declined. The thinking was that it didn't put our beloved East Nashville in a positive light and that, from HK's perspective that's the sort of thinking that only contributes to more fear. East Nashville isn't a scary place; it's home. A little rough around the edges, perhaps, but so are we all. In Channel 4's defense, they did make it the lead story during last night's broadcast and did a pretty good job of it, too.

What I have been asked to do by my roommates Ryan and Christina is to ask you guys to come on out. Sure, donate money if you want to [I'm calling it the Smash Register Fund... Pretty catchy, eh?]. But we'd all rather have you come out to the holiday party on Friday, December 18th. We'd rather have you tell your friends about this place. We'd rather have you donate your gently used clothes. We'd rather have you volunteer to do some alterations or teach a sewing class so people who do buy their clothes from us can learn how to make it fit just so. We'd rather you sell your homewoven handicrafts on consignment. We'd rather have you walk away looking like a million bucks... for only a few bucks. We'd rather have you come support the mission of this place: helping out some folks who might not be able to help themselves.

This is HumanKind and let's face it... We're all in it together.





[You can visit HK at 604 Gallatin Ave, Ste #206, Nashville, TN 37206]