And that's what that looks like.

There is a right way to do things and wrong way to do things. The right way to tell someone that they are no longer being considered for a position is to tell them that they are no longer being considered for a position. The wrong way to tell that same person that they are no longer being considered for a position is to let them find out via a report and then lock yourself away from the staff for the rest of the day and not give an interested party 5 minutes of your time after work when he specifically stays around to speak with you about it.

But maybe it's because I write run-on sentences from time to time.

Common courtesy in the world of business, it seems, has gone the way of the buffalo. In a bit of Seth Godin inspired altruism, I'm beginning to understand that hyper expansion and world domination of business isn't all it's cracked up to be. Innovation is important. Growth is important. People are tantamount.

For those of you just entering the business world, just remember this: money doesn't equal happiness. I'm broke as shit. I probably won't be owning a home anytime soon. I'm certainly not living the American Dream. I work all the time. Find out what you love to do and do it.

And that's what that looks like.

Rebuild This City on Rock and Roll

I've posted some more pictures of Nashville on my facebook for you all to see. Folks, the flooding is receding but the damage is only going to get worse. So far, TEN people in Nashville alone have been found dead from the flood with many more feared lost. The front page of USA TODAY is calling this "a catastrophe" and, friends, they are not kidding.

I know Nashville isn't as hip as New York or as sexy as Los Angeles and or as fascinating as Chicago... And I'm sure that's the reason why so much of the national media has been focused on what may or may not have been a bomb that didn't explode in Times Square. And I'm sure that's the reason why reading about Tiger Woods sticking his putter into someone's golf bag is more important than Music City, USA. And I'm sure that's the reason that Vinny Del Negro (the Chicago Bulls basketball coach) is trending on google. Yes, Nashville is the fourth coast. We're a city of artists who can't tell time. We're a city of photographers who understand light meters and shutter exposure speeds but not a Phillips Curve. We're a city of writers who can dole out pith by the bushel but can't compose anything much longer than a blog... Hmmmm... We're a city of flakes who don't keep our appointments. We're a city without much backbone. We're a city of transients, imports, and refugees from Bumfuck, Iowa. We're a city of people who, by and large, are unemployable if they were to move anywhere else in the world. How the hell "songwriter" is a job is beyond me.

That's been the boone of Nashville for the past several years. We've grown complacent with our twangy guitars and three and a half minute pop-country ditties. We've become so concerned with a $125 haircut [Writer's note: go to Cognito to get the best haircut in town and at a perfectly legit price.] and a black button up shirt with that sweet fuckin' eagle on the back of it so we can go talk to that long-legged blond over at the end of the bar that we don't give a shit about our falling down drunk friend who needs a ride home. We've been looking for the next best (no)thing when we've got something great sitting in our laps. We've become the mecca for the divine discontent seeking only the latest and greatest chart-topping, 10-years-in-the-making overnight success. To borrow from a much better writer than I am, we've had a wishbone where our backbone oughtta be.

Nashville is a much different environment than the one I grew up in. Being from southeast Michigan, I'm from an area where I got up at 6 a.m., worked my ass off until the sun went down, or until my fingertips froze, and then came home and watched the Tigers or the Red Wings or, God bless 'em, even the Lions because they were (and still are) my team. There's not much of that here in Nashville; it's not a whole lot of heads-down, all-hands-on-deck, swinging-hammers hard work. I've never seen it.

These past few days have changed my perception on this city.

I love living here. I love the pace (for the most part). I love my friends. I love that at any given time on any given night of any given week you can walk into any given venue and see and hear an amazing band made up of the woman who makes your coffee at Starbucks, a guy who works at Autozone, and two dudes who are "amateur chemists". And I love the outpouring of support that I've seen -- random strangers bailing out basements; urban boating so that Johnny Shotgun can save his mom's wedding dress; avoiding drinking water and consuming beer and calling it "water conservation" (which is actually okay with me). All this and so much more.

Hands on Nashville is full to the brim with volunteers. Metrocenter had over 150 people sandbagging for hours last night... to the point where they had to turn away volunteers. I know. I tried. I've seen the absolute best of the human condition in the past few days... And yet I feel like I haven't seen or done enough. There are only so many hours in a day and I still have a need to give back to the city that really has given so much to me in ways that can't be measured in money or units sold. So I did what anyone would do: I got involved.

On Wednesday night at Mercy Lounge, The Dozen Dimes, Hillbilly Casino, How I Became the Bomb, and Paper Route are playing a FREE show and I've been lucky enough to be involved with helping put it on. I'm not doing this for me. I'm doing this for my friends Matt and Maggie Kuyper whose home was completely flooded out. I'm doing this for Anne Marie Tucker whose backyard looks like a swimming pool. I'm doing this for Bethany Rabelhofer who had water literally flowing out her doors and whose house may have to be torn down. I'm doing this for Brent Okuley whose car has been submerged. I'm doing this for Ms. Rayher whose house in Newsom Station was completly washed away [I don't know who she is but I delivered flowers to her on Saturday]. And, yes, you can all blame me if the show is run for shit.

I'm not asking you to bring food or clothes or sticks of Old Spice (as delicious as it smells and as awesome as the commercials are) on Wednesday. What I am asking is that you bring CASH to be donated to either the aforementioned Hands on Nashville or The Community Foundation of Middle Tennessee. The show is FREE, folks. The least you can do is donate some money.

And my offer still stands to anyone who needs a place to stay, food to eat, and beer to drink.

The Great Nashville Weather Penis of 2010, part 2

I have seen some amazing things in my life. This weekend (and, yes, I am counting it as one 'thing') is another one. I was out and about yesterday because I had to see the rest of Nashville for myself. My house stayed mostly dry, 'cept for the basement which had a few inches of water in it. Some other friends and neighbors were not so lucky. I was able to make it out and about yesterday evening and take some pictures of the city although I, stupidly, only brought my iPhone with me. Some of the pictures are not very good quality but you get the idea. I've been reading reports that between Saturday and Sunday, Nashville got 13.5 inches of rain.

If you've got the time, help bail out (literally) this city. If you live in another state and want to help out, please go here to donate to the Salvation Army and please be sure to donate your funds to Nashville by typing it in the comments box.

I've posted my pictures to my facebook for your viewing pleasure.



And, yes, major media outlets... Something else in the world is happening other than a fucking bomb that did not go off in Times Square.

The Great Nashville Weather Penis of 2010

I'm sure by now you all know what is happening in Nashville in terms of the weather. This is honestly the most insane weather I have ever experienced... And this is coming from someone who once endured 17 inches of snow in 4 hours. The official rainfall amount at Nashville's airport (BNA) yesterday was 6.32 inches. I've heard reports and read rumors that as much as 10 inches of rain had fallen in some parts of Tennessee. And, at 5:30 this morning, I was awoken by the storm siren a few miles from my house indicating that this shit ain't over yet: I've been reading on internet that Nashville can expect another 2 to 5 inches of rain today.

The worst part about it for me? Well, there are two things. Number one is that my knees and ankles feel like they're the size of volleyballs. All this moisture is making them very sore. Number two is that I almost killed some guy on I40 east late yesterday after making an (I kid you not) "emergency corsage" delivery out to Briley and Elm Hill Pike. Some dude in an SUV thought that doing 75 on the freeway in this torrential downpour was a good idea... Apparently no one ever told him that switching lanes rapidly and putting your car on its side and then slamming into a guardrail while just missing hitting the most talented weekend flower delivery of all time's van wasn't the smartest idea in the world. I know this picture doesn't show it too well, but that is the Broadway-West End split that was pretty well flooded. This was taken from the inside of the shop delivery van which is gigantically awesome!

You guys remember the end of O, Brother, Where Art Thou? Yeah... This is a bit like that. This is I24 at Bell Rd on the southeast side of town. Yes, that is a building. Yes, those are semi-trucks.

And, if for some reason you can't view the video (it's acting a bit wonky for me), click here and watch it directly on youtube.

Of course, there is some humor to be found in all of this. There usually is. "What could possibly be funny about this?" you ask. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you The Great Nashville Weather Penis of 2010:
New Zealand really better be worth this. I mean... REALLY.



Friends, stay safe out there...

Seth Godin

"If you've read one of my books, thanks. I write them to be read, so without you, it would be a pointless exercise."
Seth Godin

Seth is widely considered to be the digital marketing genius in the world. He could, to borrow from Tommy Boy, "sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman wearing white gloves." He takes marketing concepts and turns them into "A-ha!" moments every day. But, at the end of the day, he's just selling you something. Or at least convince you that you didn't buy what he just said but that you came to the conclusion on your own. Really, that's all that marketing is.

I think that the fundamental flaw with Seth's statement from this blog entry is that writing with a sole intention of being read is "pointless". Write what you want, Seth, not because it's going to make you look like a better writer. And that's coming from somebody who reads your blog daily.

The worlds of art and commerce are inexorably drawn together these days. I'd rant on and on about what little the Honda Civic has to do with a music tour but I'm pretty tired and I think that an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia would be a better use of my time.

Telling people how cool you are on the internet is not as cool as being so in real life.

The problem with the Tea Party and Kasey Everly's comments

A childhood friend of mine, Kasey Everly, wrote this article for Livingston Talk. The site calls itself the "future of community journalism". I'm well-educated enough to know that the words "future" and "community" on the internet (least-a-ways in the same sentence) are probably going to lead to an article or op-ed piece that aren't going to jive with my political ideologies.

People still say "jive" right?

As I've stated time and time again, I'm no liberal and I'm no conservative. I think the idea of forced giving which really is what taxation is, is not giving at all. I think the idea of hoarding one's money is selfish. I'm independent. The idea of constraining oneself to a party even if you don't agree with all of their basic ideas is ridiculous. I'm for personal responsibility. I'm for charity. I'm for the utter abolition of our two-party system because, let's face facts, both parties are going to spend money faster than they can print it and then tell us they're the ones who balanced the budget. Fuck, I can balance my checkbook and still be six grand overdrawn. After reading this piece and the co-opting of the Tea Party which has happened over the past year and a half, I've come to the conclusion that having a political opinion is like having asshole: everyone has one but no one wants to hear what comes out of someone else but I'm going to continue typing anyway.

Now, Kasey does have a few facts right in this here article and I'm always one to give credit when and where it's due. Yes, the Tea Party has been absorbed by the idiotic GOP Sarah Palin machine. I think Sarah has as much business in politics as I do running a whorehouse: as much fun as that might be, I am probably not the right person for the job. Of course, given my current interview situation at work, I may be looking soon again and if anyone has an opportunity at the best little whorehouse in Texas that they'd like me to run (George W, I'm lookin' at you), I'd certainly be up for the interview. Especially if lunch is involved.

One of the points that Kasey makes is that church attendance is down. I don't go to church and I haven't for years. I get more out of 'church' by sitting on my back porch and drinking a beer than I do from any four walls and a hymnal. Going to church makes you a Christian or, hell, a good person much the same way that hanging out in garage makes you a car. But back to my diatribe.

The problem with the Tea Party (and the Republicans and the Democrats and the Socialists and the Marxists and the Communists and the Whigs and the Labours and the Torries and the Ba'aths and the Sinn Feins and the hundreds of other successful political parties the world over) is that they've all got it wrong... and that the only things they've got going for them are a good marketing department and a wad of cash. Don't believe me? Take Barack Obama's "Hope" campaign. Ask anyone who supported the President during his campaign that hadn't taken even a few hours to do some research on his platforms what in the hell they were placing their "hope" in and you likely would have gotten a response along the lines of the following:
"He gives hope for the future!"
"He gives hope that things are going to get better!"
"He gives me hope that things are going to be different than they are under Bush!"
Folks, I could have given you all of those things, too. I have the dream, just not the hundreds of millions of dollars that it takes to get elected to the presidency of this country. But I hope to one day.

If anyone out there believes that the most modern inception of the Tea Party is anything but a political campaign to Palin elected in two and a half years then I'd hope you either get educated between now and election day. It has gone from a truly grassroots organization of folks who were entirely sick of paying unconstitutional income taxes [the 16th Amendment did not authorize income taxes -- South Carolina v. Baker -- check it out] to fundraisers for the 2012 electoral campaign.

I think that everyone is entitled to their political opinion; from the hippie at Bonnaroo who is on seven different kinds of psychotics to my boss' boss' boss' boss' boss who makes more money in a year than I probably will in the next 20... even though I probably think that both of their opinions are wrong and ridiculous. The problem with Kasey's article is not her political view but it's her writing.

It's sophomoric. It's self-aggrandizing. It's holier than thou. The attack on Glenda Brown (whom we both know) was safe and predictable. And with my father the Mayor Pro-Temp of the neighboring city of Brighton, I know a little bit of small-town politics. The problem with small-town politics is, well, that it's "small-town". Thinking that a grassroots political movement (or Palin fundraiser... whichever) who hosts an event at Howell High School's freshman campus is going to light the fire of a nation is as likely to happen as Keira Knightly coming with me to my friends' Trevor and Hillary's wedding next month. It might happen but I'm not hedging my bets.

Kasey goes as far as writing "If you think it's that simple for those who disagree with you -- for anyone in my family or anyone else, for that matter -- you may still call yourself an American as is your birth right, but you certainly don't deserve the honor." And that's where I take umbrage.

No one has all of the answers when it comes to solving the world's problems. And, yes, folks... there is the whole vast expanse of the world that's yours and mine to explore. It's full of people who love the same things you love and who love things that you've never heard of. It's full of religious zealots, great men and women of science, captains of industry, moms, dads, sisters, brothers, musicians, artisans, craftsmen, and everything else you can think of. But it's not full of Americans. As a nation, we're a tick on the clock in the history of time.

I would rather be a citizen of the world. I would rather go explore the wonder it has to offer. I would rather see a penguin in its natural habitat, a lion on a safari, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the Nile, the Amazon, the Straits of Gibraltar, the Matterhorn, and the South China Sea. I would rather see the world than worry about "the honor" of being an American. I love my country. I love my home. I love the fact that almost everyone wants to improve it (from their perspective). What I don't love is one person or one party thinking that they have all of the answers. I don't love the Tea Party. I don't love it when people think that everything that really does matter has to be fodder for satire. And, yes, I realize the incredible irony of that statement given my usual writing style. 'Cept for I'm writing about how much Justin Bieber sucks (he does) and how I think that Die Hard is the best Christmas movie ever (it is). I'm not writing about how I've got an answer to the world's or (*gasp*) 'Merikuh's problems.

Kasey, a wiser man than both of us once wrote that if you're dumb, you need to surround with smart people; if you're smart, surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you. And maybe get out of Howell every once in a while. It might do you some good.

Block

Well, hell... What am I gonna write about now?